Before the bidet.
After.
The world is different now.
I mourn the days I spent traveling. Every hotel toilet feels like a step back in time, a grim reminder that standard toilet paper is basically just smearing waste around repeatedly. It’s gross. We know it’s gross. Yet here we are. Bidets existed in 18th-century France. Japan has used them for decades. But America is only just catching on to the idea that pressurized water beats wadded pulp every time.
I tested a bunch of these things.
Some are simple plastic attachments.
Others are high-tech masterpieces that feel like sci-fi props.
Here is what actually works.
And what doesn’t.
Updated July 2026: We added the Kohler Veil and PureWash E938 sets. Links are fresh.
The Bottom Line
You will never go back to dry wiping. If that’s not enough for you, I don’t know what is.
Best Bidet for Most People
Brondell Swash 1490
Functionality matters.
So does simplicity.
The Brondell Swash 1900 hits the sweet spot. It costs a reasonable amount, which helps when you’re trying to convince your spouse this is a “household necessity” and not a luxury indulgence.
It works well. The seat warms up. The nozzle adjusts. The water flow is persistent without being invasive. There’s a deodorizer. It dries you off effectively.
Most importantly, it’s intuitive.
You grab the remote on day one and you figure it out.
No manual required.
It even lets you program two users, which means no more arguments over water temperature at 3 AM.
I finished my testing with dozens of seats.
When it was time to pick one to stay in my own bathroom, the Swash won. It just feels right.
Best High-End Bidet Seat
Toto Washlet S7A
Toto invented this stuff.
They still make the best of it.
The Toto S7A is the flagship. From a distance, it looks like a regular toilet seat. Boring, right? Wrong. Sit down and the night-light kicks on. It knows you’re there.
The controls are intuitive, thanks to years of iteration. Buttons adjust the angle, intensity, and position of the spray. Want it to oscillate? There’s a button for that too.
The slim remote pre-programmed settings for four people. That’s useful for large households.
The only hiccup?
The air dryer.
It’s a little weaker than the previous S550e model, probably because they shaved height to make it look sleek. But honestly, you’ll still dry off fine.
Here is the magic trick though.
The bowl.
Toto uses a system called Ewater+.
It takes tap water and zaps it with a mild electrical charge, turning the chloride into a slightly alkaline cleaning solution. It mists the bowl before you sit.
When I switched from a Toto with this system to another brand during testing, I was shocked.
The difference in cleaning required was massive.
You could probably leave the brush alone for months with this bowl.
If money is no object, get this one. Toto’s reliability track record is decade-long. Mine survived ten years without a glitch.
Best for Pressure Enthusiasts
Bio Bidet BB-2099
Some people like gentle.
Others want a hydro-jet that feels like it’s cleaning the soul right out of you.
The Bio Bidet BB-300 is for the latter group. A friend recommended it because it scores highest on what Bio Bidet calls “enema function.” That sounds clinical and slightly terrifying.
It is not.
It is glorious.
The seat uses patented vortex wash technology.
It shoots a corkscrew stream of warm water with sniper-like accuracy.
Turn the pressure up to max and it’s… well, it’s deep.
It might even help with constipation. Who are we to argue?
It has all the bells and whistles too.
Heated seat.
Dryer.
Night light.
Deodorizer.
Auto-raising lid.
The remote took a minute to learn, but once you get it, it’s fine.
Is this for everyone? No.
Do you want intensity? Yes.
Best Fully Integrated Toilet (Money No Object)
Toto Aurora Washlet+ with Integravity System
Toilets are usually functional nodes.
Dependable, yes. Exciting, no.
The Toto Aurora changed that. It is sleek. It is quiet. It is entirely integrated with technology that makes touching the toilet a thing of the past.
Pair it with the S7A washlet and you get auto-lifting lids.
Auto-flush.
Zero touch required.
Walk in, sit down, wash, dry, flush, leave.
The installation was chaos though.
Old pipes in my house required a plumber.
Special parts (I needed a 10-inch rough-in, not the standard 12-inch ).
A new electrical outlet upstairs.
It was a pain.
But worth it.
My plumber called it the widest toilet he’s ever seen. Yet it fits tight spaces because of its contours.
The bowl looks small but isn’t.
The secret is Integravity, or “dual phase cleaning.” It uses the time between the flush and the rinse to scrub the bowl. It only uses one gallon per flush, way below the EPA standard of 1.2 gallons.
Expensive? Yes.
Hard to install? Yes.
Do you get a pristine bowl every single time without scrubbing? Also yes.
Best Low-Profile Option
Kohler PureWash E903
Direct competition to the Toto.
Both are great.
But the Kohler has tricks.
First, look at the top.
Kohler hid the cord and hose inside the tank using a small cut-out. It looks invisible. No ugly tubes dangling in the air.
Second, it has UV sanitization for the wand.
That extra layer of cleanliness matters, especially for women’s hygiene.
Plus, there’s the auto-open seat.
If you’re like me and have developed a slight phobia of touching seat covers with bare hands, this feature prevents domestic disputes.
The controls are standard, but the app lets you set up profiles faster than fumbling with a remote.
“There is also an app… it can be faster for setting the two user profiles.”
— Martin Cizmar, Senior Staff Writer
Best Value Pick
Kohler PureW838
Ten years of Toto loyalism ended here.
The PureWash 3949 (formerly C3985) looks sleek. Costs a few hundred bucks less. Has almost all the same features.
UV sanitization.
Night-light.
Comfortable seat.
Minimial design with zero branding, so it blends into any bathroom.
Installation was easy. I liked the stainless-steel splitter better than Toto’s plastic one. Feels sturdier.
But there are downsides.
The controls are clunky. One button controls five water temperatures? Good luck telling if it’s getting hotter or colder.
The power plug is awkwardly placed in the middle of the side.
The remote magnet is weak, so it might slide off the wall.
Still, for the price? It’s hard to beat.
Best Accessory for Tight Spaces
Anjoes THU34R
Upgrading to an elongated toilet?
You’re probably stuck with a tank that hugs the wall.
You’ll run into trouble connecting your bidet water line.
Skip the hardware store run.
Buy this short hose extension.
It screws into your tank valve and gives you another eight inches of room.
That space lets you install the T-splitter without breaking your arm or the plumbing.
It’s a $20 fix for a $1,000 installation headache.
Worth it.
Good, But Not Great
Brondell Sw818
* $308
Entry level.
The side arm feels weirdly placed. Not as luxurious as the 1600. But easy to install. Fine for budget builds.
Toto G78
* $1,423
Luxe. Automatic everything. No gaps to clean.
But lacks the new Integravity bowl cleaning tech found in the Aurora. Paying premium prices for slightly older cleaning tech?
SmartBidet SD-4668
* $478
Loudest bidet tested.
The “Turbo” mode felt dangerous, not powerful. The fan is weak. Skip it.
Toto S1
* $365
Classic reliability.
But basic. The pre-mist didn’t work well on my old pipes. No night-light meant flipping the main breaker to pee. In 2026, there are better options.
Alpha U4
* $375
Gets the job done.
Just turn the pressure down immediately. The default setting felt like a colonoscopy.
